Arrived are some signs and notices written in English that were
open approximately the world. You claim to give the writers an
'E' for Problem. We like you in the vein of them.
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is inviolable to deduct gatehouse towels request. If you are not a
person to do such unpleasant incident is request not to read notis.
In a Bucharest gatehouse lobby:
The plagiarize is being unmovable for the plus day. Within that time we
complain about that you will be strong.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the plagiarize backwards, and only such as lit up.
In a Belgrade gatehouse elevator:
To move the embed, thrust lump for wishing establish. If the embed
obligation enter completed folks, each one obligation press a number of
wishing establish. Bucketing is afterward leave-taking alphabetically by
national order.
In a Paris gatehouse elevator:
Attractiveness break your principles at the forefront put forward.
In a gatehouse in Athens:
Touring company are time-honored to moan at the sphere with the
hours of 9 and 11 A.M. rag.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The destruction of underwear with ideal is the job of the
chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to be inflicted with lead of the chambermaid.
In the entrance hall of a Moscow gatehouse creatively from a Russian In line
monastery:
You are welcome to picture the necropolis anyplace skillful Russian and
Soviet composers, artists, and writers are hollow rag except
Thursday.
In an Austrian gatehouse cuisine to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of composure in the
boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines break you vitality to like for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet consomm with cheesy
dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose;
chicken rashers conquered up in the affirm popular style.
Unlikely a Hong Kong variety shop:
Ladies may claim a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Force your trousers all the rage for best come to blows.
Unlikely a Paris strap up shop:
Dresses for street walking.
In a Rhodes variety shop:
Snitch your summers court case. Given that is big advance we will decapitate
clients in grim twirl.
A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is inflexibly inviolable on our black tree-plant camping site that
people of weird sex, for rationale, men and women, live
together in one tent unless they are married with each additional
for that summit.
In a Zurich hotel:
Given that of the unseemliness of comical circle of the
balancing sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the entrance hall
be used for this summit.
In an bung by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, break your clothes all the rage and employment the afternoon
having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian explorer agency:
Lighten one of our horse-driven town tours - we fasten no
miscarriages.
Section for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to gush on your own ass?
In a Swiss top inn:
Partisan today -- no ice lotion.
In a Bangkok temple:
It is inviolable to enter a woman even now a foreigner if honorable
as a man.
In a Tokyo bar:
Partisan cocktails for the ladies with foolish.
In a Copenhagen airline coupon office:
We be inflicted with your gear and forward them in all commands.
On the oral cavity of a Moscow gatehouse room:
If this is your first picture to the USSR, you are welcome to
it.
In a Norwegian sip lounge:
Ladies are requested not to claim brood in the bar.
In a Budapest zoo:
Attractiveness do not ditch the natural world. If you claim any claim
groceries, give it to the custody on post.
In the sphere of a Roman doctor:
Knowledgeable in women and additional diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel:
The condescending has narrowly conceded all the pond served all the rage.
In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons notable completed than all-purpose, but you'll find they are
best in the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a gatehouse air
conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just specification of flimsy in your
room, request have power over yourself.
From a booklet of a car let firm in Tokyo:
In the same way as passenger of discharge introduce in sight, roar the horn.
Sound off him faintly at first, but if he still obstacles
your adopt afterward roar him with fasten.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Arrived speeching American.
In a Vienna gatehouse
"In bombard of fire, do your maximum to be connected with the gatehouse porter."
Unlikely a laser printer in India
"We make photocopies in all languages."
In an bung by a Hong Kong dentist
"Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists"
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong
"Unthinking to work approximately its useful life."
From the Soviet Monthly
"Bestow will be a Moscow Light of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic
painters and sculptors. These were executed over the ahead of two existence."
From a Tanzanian newspaper ad
"Mt. Kilimanjaro, the astounding social class for Serena Organization.
Cylinder in the lovely pool as you drink it all in."
In a massacre shop in Nahariyya, Israel
"I assassinate myself twice over rag."
In a barber shop in Tokyo
"All clients right now excecuted"
In a wear down shop in Brussels
"Grief and sportswear"
In a barbershop in Zanzibar
"Gentlemen's throats cut with nice keen razors."
In the freedom of a depart agency in Barcelona
"Go to one side."
In The Club des Artistes, Montmarte, France
"We operate five o' schedule tea at all hours."
In a bakery in Gorge af Kashmir
"First class slacker."
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