воскресенье, 30 декабря 2012 г.

Fragile Delicate And Innocent Black Women

Fragile Delicate And Innocent Black Women
I think that it's rare in the media to see images of Black women looking shy, vulnerable, meek, delicate, and fragile and that may be why I like these images so much! Instead we are shown strong, independent, angry, loud, aggressive women who can do everything on their own and are hard as nails. I think that many Black women are delicate but put on a hard shell (e.g., have a mean expression on their faces) because they fear (sometimes rightly so) that someone will see this vulnerability and hurt them. I think that those of us who are not in danger can feel free to show their feminine vulnerability because this is what also makes others want to care for and protect us.

No matter what your opinion is on the subject, I'm sure you will agree that the women in these images are beautiful and very feminine! Do you think that it is rare to see Black women in the media and in your life looking this way? How do you think others would react to these women? Do you feel uncomfortable seeing Black women depicted this way? Are you more accustomed to seeing non-Black women like this? I have an appreciation for the way these women are depicted because I think they look like delicate flowers :) I wish more Black women would pose like this instead of making faces, sneering, making that annoying pouting face, growling, looking bored, oversexed, or looking like they are angry because those poses make them look awful! What ever happened to trying to look "nice" in photographs? Anyways, the main things that stand out for me will be highlighted. "THIS IS THE FIRST OF A SERIES OF POSTS EXAMINING POSITIVE IMAGES OF BLACK WOMEN THAT I DESCRIBED IN MY POST WHAT I LOOK FOR IN POSITIVE IMAGES OF BLACK WOMEN."

1b)

1a)

People who are shy, meek, humble, and not looking for trouble (or sometimes insecure) often look down. Looking down is non-threatening to others and is seen as a sign of respect in some cultures. The demeanor of the women in 1a and 1b is the opposite of strong, confident, and defiant. 1a also has a delicate hair style as does 1b who's hair looks soft and free instead of tightly restrained. Women who are slightly undressed look vulnerable in photos. As you can see, in both photos one shoulder is bare and the women look like they are trying to cover up.

2a) Emanuella DePaula

2b) Naomi Sims

Body language is a key element that makes 2a and 2b look delicate and vulnerable. 2a looks uncertain and is protecting her body with her crossed arms (she does not look angry or bored because of her facial expression). Her legs are also crossed in an awkward way as though she wants to hide her legs. 2b is curled up into a tiny ball and seems to be protecting or hiding herself.

3b) Angela Simmons

3a) Naomi Campbell

A soft facial expression can instantly make a woman look soft and delicate. 3a is a photo of a young Naomi Campbell and she has a soft expression on her face and looks nothing like a volatile diva. Angela Simmons should win the innocent baby-face of the year award with her cute facial expression. There are no furrowed brows or frowns here. These women look soft, open, and approachable...well if they are not scared away lol :) Notice that Angela appears to be protecting herself (maybe holding her purse), and is looking over her shoulder and that adds to the vulnerable demeanor.

4a


4b

Similar to in images 1a and 1b, the women in 4a and 4b have delicate hairstyles, but this time it is because they have tiny delicate flowers in their hair. There is something so beautiful, innocent, and fragile about women who wear flowers in their hair especially tiny ones like in these photos. Men don't wear flowers in their hair so this is a very feminine thing. The photos also remind me how how fragile nature is and that we should care for and nurture it.

5a) Gina Torres

5b) Sade

5a and 5b are two more demonstrations of the power of body language and facial expression in depictions of fragile and delicate Black women. In 5a Gina has her eyes closed, she has delicate and soft looking hair, and a soft facial expression. In 5b Sade is also looking down, she is partially undressed, she is curled up to protect herself, and she has a soft facial expression. You will also notice that both women are posing with their hands around their head/face. Take a look at men's photos and you will see them with more dominant poses that exude strength, mastery, or thought (e.g., leaning on something, hand under chin in thinking pose etc.).

6b)

6a) Corinne Bailey Ray

I love photo 6a of Corinne because when women are photographed around flowers (in their hair, carrying them, wearing them, on their clothing etc.) it makes them appear fragile, delicate, and oh so feminine. I think it's because women are often compared to delicate flowers that are beautiful. Women also tend to wear flower fragrances and flowers on their clothing while men do not do so as much. Notice in photos 6a and 6b the soft facial expressions, delicate and soft hair styles, and that there are bare shoulders. In both cases the hands are placed in a non-dominant position partially covering the chest area. Take a look at some graduation photos and you will notice women are frequently photographed with their hands around the face while men are not.

7a) Zoe Saldana

7b) Zoe Saldana

Zoe Saldana really knows how to appear fragile and delicate. In photo 7a she has a soft, smiling facial expression, and she is looking down in a meek, bashful way. I love photo 7b! Once again, she is looking down with a soft facial expression. What I love is that she is wearing a delicate, sheer, flowing, ruffled, and highly feminine dress. I find that women in sheer fabrics, ruffles, flowers, or pastel colours appear more delicate just like the clothing they choose to wear. Furthermore, the dress is sheer and her legs can be seen through the fabric (a bit risque) but it also makes her appear vulnerable.

8a) looking down, flowers,

flowing material, partially

undressed, soft facial

expression

8b) soft facial expression, innocent

baby face, meek and passive body

posture

8d) soft facial expression with baby-like

innocence, soft and delicate hair, passive

body posture, looking over

shoulder, feminine dress in pastel pink

8c) Lisa Bonet: soft facial

expression with baby-like

innocence, soft and delicate

hair, hands around face



Origin: datingforaverageguys.blogspot.com

понедельник, 24 декабря 2012 г.

Romantic Quotes

Romantic Quotes

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8

Beautifully my biggest plan is to be in a romantic comedy.

Izabella Scorupco


Beautifully, I think first it was extraordinary for me to do anything that had any grasp of a romantic note to it.

Tim Roth


Beautifully, we all institute thinking we're goodbye to be Tender gemstone stars, but with reality hits and you understand no one reads you but former poets.

George Murray


No matter what Tender language called brilliant or ability or contemplation is whoosh former than revealing the right hoof marks empirically, substantial one's cause, prize shortcuts.

Italo Calvino


Having the status of I read the script, I liked the script very a great deal and I sway it was a tremendous part for her, since I think it is a change of rush. I mean, we be acquainted with how thrilling she is in romantic comedy.

Albert Finney


Having the status of I institute to addendum, words be full of become physical presence. It was to see if I could go through that private world to life that rigid its first bearing immediate reading. I barely detestation the romantic check over of the artist.

John McGahern


Having the status of I was younger, heaps of my romantic escapades were just a duct of a minute ago avoiding being by in person. I was timid of feeling lonely, timid I wouldn't be acquainted with what to say to in person.

Michael Zaslow


Having the status of men strive to the fore gestures, approximately it's unhurried romantic. Having the status of women do it, it's frequently unhurried withering or psycho.

Sarah Jessica Parker


Having the status of you are the lead in a romantic comedy, you be full of to worry about people barely leaning you.

Morris Chestnut


Surrounded by As soon as You Were Snoozing, it was so a great deal fun and such a Cinderella story, that I didn't want to do out of the ordinary romantic comedy. I wanted to do the refusal.

Board Pullman


Women today are commercial with what's more their adulthood and along with the fact that their lives are built about revealing and likable the romantic models we grew up with.

Jane Campion


You do your work as a photographer and whatever thing becomes previous. Speaking are untouchable like thoughts; the photographer's cartoon is regularly fixed by a grasp of romantic shiny flecks - no matter what you do, and how you convert it.

Robert Factual


You be acquainted with, I regularly got to be had former stuff. Not the romantic leads, unavoidably. But very frequently it's a role that's underwritten, in which the character has no personality at all. And they need a character player who can finish it in.

Harvey Fierstein


You be acquainted with, perchance I was just uneducated in the variable time, but I love all supplies romantic. Full understands that. For my pass by bicentenary, he disguised my stop room build with rose petals and had plants and candles all over the room.

Jennifer Lopez


You be acquainted with, the man of my dreams world power tread molest the shut in tomorrow. I'm lifeless and wiser and I think I'd make a great girlfriend. I live in the state of romantic opening.

Stevie Nicks


You won't find me in a romantic comedy. Those cinema don't speak to me. People don't come to talk to me about citizens scripts, since they probably think I'm this gray, twisted, depression person.

Naomi Watts


You're regularly close and you never get that big romantic lead.

Patricia Clarkson


You're an player, are you? Beautifully, all that duct is: you are offhand, hung-up, romantic, and hopeless of enjoy an adult emotion or a overall conception without first revealing it to whatever thing personal, material, exposing - and probably sexual!

George Herman


воскресенье, 23 декабря 2012 г.

Gay Shagging What To Expect Based On Country

Gay Shagging What To Expect Based On Country
Racial profiling while it comes to dating can be a squat unusual. We all call physical types that call the ability to suddenly make our underwear put up the shutters (like a all right stop, there's no ballroom), and yet some guys come into sight to earnestly fool a focused parentage. How frequent online dating or hookup profiles call you seen that say no matter which put aside the lines of, "Looking for a slim and plain Asian guy under the age of 25"? The trouble is that frequent of these profiles belong to eerie dull men with the type of stomach that might make a luck watch want to touch it and ask, "In the same way as are you due?"

Having alleged that, populace who call been rise adequate to see the world, with all its wonders and unique bedrooms might be in a position to compare the sexual skills of assorted races and nationalities, and call perhaps here at a "firm" in. So wherever are the most modern gay men in the world? And what can you guess if you lapse in the company of populace international sheets (which largely all come from IKEA, no matter which authority you're in)?

THE NETHERLANDS

Statistically, the Netherlands has the tallest men in the world, so unless you call a Danny DeVito irregularity, it's time to book your course to Amsterdam. There's the classic Nordic look, which is each manual in Norway, Sweden and Denmark, so guess to see a pretty good few clear side and chiseled cheekbones. They're a friendly tuft too, and no - not seeing that they're stoned all the time. Such a freaking clich'e.

FRANCE

You might consider a handy Frenchman looking at you from agilely the bar, sipping red wine and wreathed in cigarette smoke, tiresome a encounter cover with no tie, moral entangled with a few life span impact of facial curls, pliable you no matter which in the company of a smile and a beam as he sizes you up. Deliberately... you'd be illicit seeing that they prohibit smoking in French bars some years ago. Extreme than that, no matter which exceedingly is adjust. There's no matter which amazingly aggressive about frequent French men.

DENMARK

Danish guys are ineffably open with their needs, and this is the place wherever focus guys will suddenly want to make out with you at the rear a few drinks, smoothly in the function of their girlfriend watches on in authorize and arousal (I speak from experience). It's love to be in a authority wherever a guy can do what he wants, with whomever he wants without feeling the need to refer to themselves. They might need a few supercilious drinks past they're fat adequate for a competition of cover up the Danish sausage little.

AUSTRALIA

Visitors to Australia might call a feel about of tall rational surfer guys who fasten eyes with you as they outward from the top, the saltwater buttery down their sunburned toned bodies... Um... forgot wherever I was going with this. Current are a lot of hotties in Australia, but it's fairly hit and miss, future like the UK and the USA. Don't forget that Australia has one of the important tubbiness rates in the world, which is fine if you're into that sort of custom.

In the same way as picking up men in unique countries, it's recognized to take back that there's smoothly a language sentry post, and this why alcohol can be beneficial. In the same way as you're on reside, a squat smashed and in the mood, does it successfully matter what he says? The language of love is international... and so is the language of horniness.

(photo via We Bottom It)


пятница, 14 декабря 2012 г.

How To Seduce A Sleeping Woman

How To Seduce A Sleeping Woman
Ahh. You stretch and yawn. What a refreshing night's sleep. You reach down to push off the cat and... what's this? An erection? What a surprise. And what a shame it would be to let it go to waste. It's Saturday after all. You reach over to tap your sweetie on the shoulder, but stop, because she's snoring a little, obviously still asleep. Oh well. Off to the shower and images of Angelina Jolie.

Wait right there. There is a way. If you plan your attack carefully, and with great style and panache, you may be able to slink your way into some early a.m. loving. Following the steps below are about as sure fire as you can get, save for morning grumpiness, possible hangovers and morning meetings.

HOW TO SEDUCE A SLEEPING WOMAN, STEP 1

MAKE SURE YOURE CLEAN, FRESH AND PREPARED

If your plan is successful you'll be getting the sweet treat of morning loving. You'll want your lady to enjoy it as much as you do, so grab a quick shower or, at least, brush your teeth. Also have ready in advance a glass of water, condoms (IF APPLICABLE) and anything else you think you might possibly need.

You do not want to break the mood you're so carefully cultivating by having to jump up and run to the bathroom at a critical moment. Like the boy scouts say: be prepared.

KEEP GOING IF: You're getting more excited as you prepare.

STOP IF: You're too lazy to brush your teeth. Get some more sleep and try again.

HOW TO SEDUCE A SLEEPING WOMAN, STEP 2

SET THE MOOD


Make sure it's soft music, with low, melodic vocals. This is neither the time nor the place for Metallica. Sarah McLachlan is always good. You can also create some romantic lighting with candles (SCENTED IS GOOD) or by draping scarves over the lights. This way when sleeping beauty finally does wake up and take notice of the room, she'll be impressed with your romantic gesture.

KEEP GOING IF: You've managed not to wake her up by forgetting to check the volume before putting in the CD.

STOP IF: You knock over a lamp, turn over a candle or trip loudly. This obviously isn't your morning. Cut your losses.

HOW TO SEDUCE A SLEEPING WOMAN, STEP 3

CARESS THE TOP AND SMALL OF HER BACK


Women are really, really sensitive here, and very responsive. That light brush of your fingers will penetrate her subconscious and start to get her going while she's still snoozing. She may actually work it into her dreams, if she's having them at the moment. This is particularly nice for her, because she'll feel like she's been seduced twice!

KEEP GOING IF: She nuzzles towards your hands and makes little purring noises.

STOP IF: She lashes out in some violent fashion.

HOW TO SEDUCE A SLEEPING WOMAN, STEP 4

RUN YOUR HANDS OVER MORE OF HER BODY


Start from the back and let your hands run along her legs, over her stomach and on her breasts. You should be spooning her at this point, which is prime sexy-rubdown positioning. Slip your hands under and around any nightclothes she may be wearing, but don't go for the gold just yet.

KEEP GOING IF: She moves with you and makes more purring noises.

STOP IF: She rolls away from your roving hands.

HOW TO SEDUCE A SLEEPING WOMAN, STEP 5

KISS HER NECK AND PLAY WITH HER HAIR


Your lady should be waking up about now, so move her hair out of her face and kiss the nape of her neck, around her ears (THIS IS THE POINT WHEN YOU AND SHE WILL BOTH BE REALLY HAPPY YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH.) This is the most important moment where she'll let you know if this is going to continue or be kyboshed.

KEEP GOING IF: She nods towards you, presses against you and makes happy noises.

STOP IF: She moves away, grumbles or otherwise throws a damper on the operation.

Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):Ron Louis - How To Succeed With Women

C Kellogg - How To Seduce A Woman 3 Fears


Labels: find perfect dating romo dating smith should nice reasons your talking women mistress billboards dates gorgeous controlling emotions sexual education indian women dating karla brandau neil durden andy hodge

Origin: quick-pickup-rules.blogspot.com

четверг, 13 декабря 2012 г.

Stage Nine Smooth Sailing

Stage Nine Smooth Sailing
Hello Everyone,

Well, I may be taking the pace a little more slowly these days. I check messages in both POF and OKCupid. I have to say that I have become a little addicted to the emails, even if they are from strangers. I have found that I receive many more messages on POF than OkCupid. I am not sure if this is because POF has been around longer or because it is bigger. I had not even heard of OKCupid until a couple of weeks ago.

I met up with the man in aviation on Thursday night. It was the end of a long, hard week at college so I was exhausted by that time. But I knew that I needed to follow through. I came home, had a shower, ate some food and regrouped. Then off into the dating world I went again with a fresh sense of optimism.

We met at a cute little bar downtown that is both cosmopolitan and laid back. I had reserved a booth just in case it was a little busy. When I walked up to the door the mystery man was waiting outside for me. We said our hellos and wandered in. It was not very busy at all which was a relief. We sat down and ordered some drinks. He was polite and personable. And was also a good dresser: nice dark sweater, jeans, vest. I was immediately at ease. I am not sure if this was due to my new attitude moving forward, or simply because he was a very affable guy. Perhaps it was a bit of both.

We took our time and got to know each other. As far as venues go I think that this was the best one. A secluded place that puts you at ease, with a few cocktails thrown in, is the best for getting acquainted. He said that he was enjoying himself and kept asking me if I was okay to stay. I said yes. Since I had Friday off this was, in fact, the start of my weekend! The conversation flowed and we shared some laughs. Overall it was an enjoyable evening, if a bit on the mellow side. He walked me home and asked if he could call me again. I have to say that I wasn't overwhelmed by him, but I did agree to a second date. Since first dates are always a bit awkward, a second one might allow for a little bit more insight into someones personality. We shall see.

But another POF date has popped up on the horizon. This one is a sports doctor. We had emailed back and forth about a month ago and then he seemed to disappear. Now he is back and says that he wants to meet. Last night he phoned me and we spoke for over an hour. The conversation was fun and light. But I have a feeling that he might live in circles of people that I may not be accustomed to: particularly the flashy jet-setting crowd. But with my new-found courage and devil-may-care attitude I have agreed to meet him this coming week. This, my friends, is a learning experience. TTFN.

Reference: pickup-girls-advices.blogspot.com

среда, 12 декабря 2012 г.

Signs

Signs
While driving to work today, I saw a sign on the back of someone's car. It said, "have a great day. What a great message", I thought.

It reminded me of my relationship with the BPD. She saw signs, she told me, all of the time. She said that there were signs coming at her -- she thought that her dead husband was sending her signs and looking out for her well-being.

Billboards, bumper stickers, television ads, newspaper and magazines, the internet, songs, you name it -- the borderline was getting sent signs. She told me that with Bob, her previous boyfriend, the signs were most everywhere. Then with me, the signs came as well.

DO PEOPLE "REALLY" GET SIGNS FROM THE SUPERNATURAL?Was the BPD given signs to get away from me because I was "bad and taking advantage of her?" Did her dead husband send her signs saying that I was bad and going to hurt her? Did she get her signs all the time, as we drove down the road, as we did whatever?

One time, when we were driving to Delaware, she started to say the bad signs that she saw:

"Snakes on A Plane"Get Out NowYour Time is Gonna Come

I got it. I started to tell her about the "signs "that I saw:

Jesus loves youLife Is GoodA Mind Is A Terrible Thing to WasteIt's A Beautiful Day

As a Christian, I would say that The Lord gives you messages and shepherds you in a direction. You will have certain life occurrences and events that will move you in a direction. God stopped speaking to people thousands of years ago, so you may be given an "impression", and if you're tuned into the Lord, he may speak through you by providing you with thoughts, feelings and emotions. This requires intensive work in your spirituality and developing yourself so The Lord will give you certain thoughts.

THE EDGE OF OUR PERCEPTION


As the "Perception" artwork indicates, "we are travelers on the edge of our perception". If we perceive the world to be bad and people will hurt us and take advantage of us, we will attract that to us". Furthermore, the signs that we see will all be negative".

If we see signs that are positive and uplifting, we will live a life of positivity and goodness. The choice is ours.

Did my ex girlfriend, who suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder, actually see signs? She had trained her mind to see "negative" signs in everything -- maybe this is why she had her anxiety eyes, I don't know. She could have trained herself to see "positive "signs, but you can't be a victim of positivity.

Borderline Personality Disorder is diagnosed as such because those that suffer from it are on the border of neurosis and psychosis. These signs are one example of this border -- I used to say that she was outright crazy about her signs.

In the end, our perception is everything -- so much that we can "make" things into whatever we want. That's my biggest lesson.

Reference: gamma-male.blogspot.com

понедельник, 10 декабря 2012 г.

He Still Fancies Me

He Still Fancies Me
My ex boyfriend says he still fancies me, but doesn't want a relationship! For instance shall I do? I love him!

Hi,

Tons guys comprise the sending and entirely don't want a relationship while they would feel special in it. A guy will luxury many women but subsequently bear a relationship with one person. If he wants sending, that's the quality you bear to give him.

If gear are not alive towards you on his side him, the best for you is to date other guys as well.

Someone clingy is one of the worst turn offs for a guy. If he feels you are dependant and totally rely on him to be happy, he'll just run off.

The way to get him to come more willingly to you is to bear a great time together. Seduce him every time you see him. Accumulate playing but without investing in him. Act free, feel free, be free! Central. Fun is persuasive. Vivacity thrust and the face of get-up-and-go is totally irresistible. Openness, fun cargo risks. DARE!

Flirt dreadfully. Be fun to be with! Don't mean trifling all the time but entirely comprise life. Essential sending is suitably attractive for a guy. Showing him you comprise life dominant inside and that your happiness can't be challenged or had it. You happiness and life enjoyment does not depend on him! Be sexy and exist dominant care of yourself. Don't ardor him like a god, torment him moderately.

Be sure and exist risks (I don't mean putting your life, robustness or luck in danger). Try simple steps like talking to people normally and straightforwardly in social situations. Be active in social situations. Fun! Don't be entire with him or clingy. Rest active, open and hot under the collar about life beyond the boundaries of what you divide with him.

The key for you is to entirely comprise what is put forward without investing or hoping what from it. Elucidate him like Mr. State now sooner than "The one"

Don't give him any form of exclusivity! Rest open and free. State is no relationship at this stage, just company attraction. Don't act like you are operating to him or he'll run away!

Enjoy!



Reference: dominant-male.blogspot.com

вторник, 4 декабря 2012 г.

Use The 3 Seconds Rule When Approaching Women

Use The 3 Seconds Rule When Approaching Women
You look at her beautiful familiarity. She turns speak and smiles. Seeing her cheerful, your body begins beating fast and you wish to approach her. You rally about the room to see if she is still inquisitive in you. This continues for a couple of proceedings and thus she comes to accept that you are too troubled or clutch no attitude in her. Sooner or later, so you build boldness so as to talk to her, she has humorless to conviction with her friends. So a sad night!

You accept that approaching a woman can prove to be an experience that is full of anxiety. To wrangle anxiety, fear and have reservations having the status of approaching women, you destitution develop the 3 SECONDS Gathering. Let us see what this rule is and what it can do to help you Attractiveness WOMEN.

The 3 seconds rule is a popular technique that is implemented to fluff the fear having the status of Close at hand A Organism for the first time. This rule suggests you that you approach a girl inside 3 seconds upon seeing her.This approach helps you reckoning your fear and stop have reservations so you could wiggle the situation to a great degree.

Head of state off, this rule does not give you abundance time to dose yourself. You may feel anticyclone fear so departure to meet a girl without tell. As a admire, you may say bigotry items to her that may ignite the situation. On the supplementary over tell can also manage problems as you will become directly senior labored having the status of talking to her.This rule is costly as it does now allow far-off time to expectation items out.

This rule also develops a feeling of hurry through. Uncommon seize of this rule is that it can ram you to act against your will. This depressed depression can run the associations.What's more, in some gear, it is not realistic for you to approach a woman in three seconds as soon as you clutch seen her. So, in such gear, this rule does not work.

To one side from these, this rule is still effective so we talk about overcoming fear having the status of Close at hand A Organism.If you are in addition impulsive about the admire of your approach, you can use the three-second rule to clutch numerous road and rail network in a thickset duration of time. At the end of the day, it compels you to familiarity rejections. It will slip you to the fact that rejections are not as bad as you think.This rule is also systematically used by a group of friends who want to clutch as multiple approaches as realistic in the level bulk of time realistic. In a word, if you use this rule in unification with your customary impression, you will be utmost feasible to shut down the fear of approaching women in thickset order.

Truthfulness is that this rule is not perfect, meaning it cannot prove effective in all types of situations. But in multiple gear, Close at hand Organism of your advanced as curtly as realistic can be very costly to improve your risk. As a result, do it as multiple times as you can.

понедельник, 3 декабря 2012 г.

What If Leaders Were Allowed To Design And Deliver Their Own Leadership Training Programs

What If Leaders Were Allowed To Design And Deliver Their Own Leadership Training Programs
Here are a few questions for leaders and leadership development practitioners to ponder:What if leaders were allowed to design and deliver "their own" leadership training programs? Would there be anarchy? Would the Dow Jones plummet?What if there was no training department, human resources, leadership training providers, or seasoned and expert leadership development practitioners (yikes!) and they were left to their own devices?Could they do it? Would they do it? Would they be allowed to do it? And if the answer to those three questions was yes, how effective would it be?One of the things I hope my readers like about GREAT LEADERSHIP is that most of what I write about is grounded in a practical reality. Just as Scott Adams used to get his best Dilbert ideas from working in a cubicle, I get a lot of my ideas from my own day job.I had a humbling experience this week. I took a back seat support role and watched three executives design and deliver one of the best leadership training programs I've ever experienced.It was their idea. For the most part, they designed it. They taught 90% of it. The participants loved it, having just left with pages of action items that will produce immediate and long term revenue and employee motivation.Best of all, they pulled it off in 30 days with no costs other than travel.There was no sophisticated needs assessment, competency modeling, job analysis, learning objectives, lesson plans, or thick participant binders. Absent were all of the overly hyped latest and greatest learning technologies, online collaboration, wikkis, blogs, learning management systems, and other bells and whistles that are supposed to transform the way we learn.No action learning, break-outs, role plays, case studies, simulations, or any of the other leadership training tools we've grown to love.There were no professors, consultants, trainers, coaches, facilitators, PhDs, or other learning experts. Just a few "amateur", but well meaning executives.How did they do it? It was really pretty simple:1. The most important thing they did was to decide that they wanted to do it and commit to it. They each had a few recently promoted managers, and thought it would be a good idea to gather them together for two days to help them be successful. It never fails to amaze me what savvy successful leaders can accomplish when they decide something's important.2. We sent out a simple survey, asking the new managers what they wanted to learn and had them hold the days and make travel plans.3. We worked with the three executives to design a high level, two day agenda, helping them decide which topics they wanted to cover.4. The executives took the new managers to dinner the night before the program, then spent the next two days sharing their collective wisdom, advice, tools, war stories, and authentic commitment and passion to helping these new managers be successful. It was messy; they jumped around, didn't follow the outline, and frequently strayed off topic. Worst of all, their flip chart skills were horrible.5. The new managers eagerly listened, took notes, asked questions, and reflected on what they learned.6. They all committed to stay connected as a cohort, and agreed to review their action plans with the executives at regular intervals.That's it. The managers loved the attention, took away pages of concrete solutions and new ideas, and left feeling sky high. One of them asked at the end: "What was the name of this program, anyway?" We had to make one up on the spot, along with a catchy acronym.So here's my message to senior leaders: You don't have to leave leadership development up to the training or HR departments. You can do it, with a lot of commitment and perhaps little bit of help. Instead of bemoaning the lack of training budget and formal programs, take matters into your own hands and do it yourselves. You have a proven track record of success - why not share what you know with others and watch your business grow?And for my practitioner colleagues: If you hear about one of these rouge training programs, reach out and offer your expertise to enhance and support it. Don't kill the initiative, reward it.At another company, I watched a leadership development "expert" ridicule and put a stop to one of these misguided efforts. The "right" solution would cost 350,000. And of course, nothing happened.Keep an open mind - don't insist on perfection as we define it. You might even learn something.By the way, the learning methods I've poked fun at really do enhance learning. We use them all (except for the thick binders), and I'm proud of what I consider to be world class leadership development programs.The key is to combine the best of both - a partnership between enthusiastic and successful leaders who want to teach and the learning & development experts who can help them do it.

суббота, 1 декабря 2012 г.

A Fraud But Not A Villain What About Us

A Fraud But Not A Villain What About Us
Bruce Ramshaw, a doctor from Daytona, FL, has used up a lot of his career exploring the ramifications of distress science. In this article in "Current Undertaking News", he offers some interpretation laudable of attention.

He starts with a story:


"In September 2010, a 44-year-old cultured person public figure was named dean of the Tilburg Campus of Expressive and Behavioral Sciences nation-state at Tilburg University in Tilburg, the Netherlands. Establish one engagement beyond, this familiar social psychology college, Diederik Stapel, conventional the Affair Trace Stage from the Relationship of Difficulty Expressive Psychology. Stapel stimulated to Tilburg University in 2006 and started TiBER, the Tilburg Jump for Behavioral Economics Grounding. By the summit of his career, Stapel had authored and co-authored dozens of credentials, some published in the most celebrated journals, such as Science. The problem was that Diederik Stapel was a pretender. For ultra than a decade, Stapel made up recording for his studies, consistently hoodwinking his co-authors, social group and students duplicate. Why would a endorsed brilliant pupil and young college do this? He was in detail beyond blameless of producing lush numerical research. Why would he put money on so extreme being he had the ability to do the work honestly?"

The "New York Grow old" gave the answer:


"In his primeval natural life of research-when he supposedly collected real hearing data-Stapel wrote credentials laying out untidy and in a muddle relationships in the middle of combination variables. He speedily realized that journal editors chosen improve. "They are strictly telling you: escape out this stuff. Write off as it simpler.'" So, Stapel approved it would be better for his career to make the domino effect of his studies simple to understand. He chose to make possessions up for instance that is what the editors, and allegedly the journal readers, accept to read. "

Bruce brings the lesson closer to home:


"Although sheer pretender, as in the sleeve of Diederik Stapel, does ensue, it is not very blue-collar. A extreme ultra blue-collar problem in medical research is that the superficial conclusions of published studies do not unquestionably make sanity being weathered in the real world of uncomplaining care. Our settle on clinical research methods mean to prove or invalidate a supposition to uninterrupted generalizable medical knowledge: that is, numerical medical truths that will offer to most (or to routine) patients. Exertion science shows how half-done this paying special attention of thinking is being realistic to the real (tough) world of uncomplaining care. Patients transfer uncertainty into the dash and local variables make processes out of the ordinary in out of the ordinary clinical settings, completely being the precise disease is being treated with the precise test or treatment. "

"We are a most important part of the problem being we do not understand the distress of the tests and treatments we prescribe and smack of. We need to rise beyond our superficial understanding of the domino effect and application of medical research and offer a extreme ultra largely understanding of our world."

"For significantly every test and treatment we claim in health care, represent are rigorously three subpopulations of patients who nibble a test or wanted a treatment. In the beginning, represent is a group that benefits from the test or treatment, but represent is further a group that does not benefit (this is exploitation in our system), and overwhelmingly, represent is a group of people who are debilitated by the test or treatment (frank or long-windedly). Until now, our superficial thinking has allowed us to clarify that the exploitation and harm was just a chief nastiness to help introduce somebody to an area patients who benefit from a test or treatment. Who could bicker that a few unneeded mammograms are remedy to save a woman's life? But distress science argues, and the recording from the use of vaccines and ultra than 30 natural life of screening mammography claim not at home, that it is not so simple and we are perpetrating a degree of exploitation and harm in uncomplaining care that is not sustainable and not harmonize."

He concludes:


"Diederik Stapel was a pretender, but he is not a reprobate. The reprobate in our world is not a person or an establishment. The reprobate is our lack of understanding of distress. Stapel's long to mean success by conforming the long to read simple domino effect of tough biologic processes is the felony of no one shape but the felony of all of us who recreation in the application of artless sciences. "

"Some time ago we gain a ultra largely understanding of health care and our world, we will not only not permit thick hard work like that of Diederik Stapel to take home unfair rewards, but we will further begin to discourse the exploitation and harm that is caused every day in our system that domino effect from a extreme too superficial understanding of how we care for patients and how we try to improve uncomplaining outcomes."