Singles And Dating Open Question Please Help Me Out I Need Help Urgently

Hey i used to have a bf for 2 and a half years.It was a serious relation.But i was just 16 years old.He had returned after staying in the US for a year.I was very close to him and depended on him emotionally.He did used to keep asking me for getting physical but i always refused as i didn't feel comfortable.He always argued saying every relation needs balance of mental and physical happiness. Otherwise an 18 year old man will get frustrated.It always made me feel insecure but i never gave in for physical relations.one day,i got to know that my father was visiting call girls just because of lack of sex.HE did it ever since mom got pregnant with my little brother.That was the time i completely broke down.I was shattered.My dad was always my hero,but this fact broke me into pieces.I told him about this.He did show support but also hinted that lack of sex makes a man do things like this.Because of knowing dad's shocking fact and my love for him,i got hell insecure.I thought what if he'll leave me.I as such had made plans of marrying him.We were that serious.So i thought that it's okay to get physical with my husband to be.I convinced myself due to my insecurity and let him do everything except loosing my virginity.But soon i realized that he was not a good man.He kept abusing me and i broke up.After 3 years i found another man named mike.I am in a relation with mike.it's all very good and we are planning to get married in 5 years.Mike never had a gf before me.Plus i and mike have never indulged in even talking stuff about sex and all.I once asked him if he wanted to know anything about my ex bf.He said no.But i felt like he should know about my having physical relations with my ex bf.So i told him that i need to make a confession.I told him that we were involved in physical relations.so he asked like what? i was not comfortable talking this so i said kissing and all.Just the kiss pissed him off badly.He was tooooo uncomfortable.He asked was there nudity involved?did he see any of your private body parts or touch them? i didn't have courage to speak the truth so i answered in a NO.He was like "Thank you sweetheart.Thank god nothing more than a kiss happened.I am so relieved now." it took him a week to get over a kiss! he was like i do love you but i don't want to.After a week he got normal.I asked if he was with me just because i did nothing more than a kiss? He said "No.i am so much in love with you that i can't leave you.But i could have never accepted you.my family deserves a girl who is pure.BUt thank god you are.i was feeling guilty as hell.This man trusts me blindly.HE tells me each and everything in his life and i lied to him! i am with him but he doesn't know the real me.this is cheating isn't it. But now if i tell him the truth,he will not trust me as he will feel why did i lie?He may not even respect me.He doesn't know about my dad.Should i tell him about my dad and then explain about my physical relations? or should i just keep this truth to myself? i know he'll accept me with the truth.But this beautiful relation will not be the same.PLEASE HELP ME!

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