SUPPORT EACH OTHER. Instead of focusing on the negatives or going your separate ways, spend time discussing what you want from one other. Think about what would demonstrate true emotional commitment to you. Prove that you are on each other's side by deciding to change your attitude and behavior. And begin to invest in your marriage's emotional bank account. Create excitement, pleasure and fun together - then take advantage of the dividends.
You and your partner are individuals who each have a mind of your own. What you want may have changed since you first tied the knot. And the present economic meltdown probably adds to the pressures in the relationship. But that doesn't mean you can't make shifts that will relieve some of the stress. AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO ACCEPT THE POSSIBILITY OF DIVORCE. By taking the first steps, you can help strengthen your partner's trust in you - and the future of your marriage.
Clicking on the title of this post will take you to an article on HERMENTORCENTER.COM with some practical tips on how to get your relationship back on track.
And this Fourth of July, as you celebrate with cookouts and fireworks, be grateful for all that is good about the United States of America and all that is right about your marriage.
Men are often over-protective of women. It's in our biological "wiring" in our brains; we're compelled to do it. However, there are times when that urge must be fought off...I've been working closely with one of my top "students" as he makes a dignified exit from a situation in which he and his soon-to-be-ex are grossly mismatched and have determined that there is just not enough common ground upon which to try to hold it together and be able to treat their differences as complimentary tools.It's a pretty typical story of an extremely intelligent and analytical male hooked up with a not-quite-as-intelligent and overly-creative, emotionally-driven female. And before anybody starts sending hate mail, I'm saying it is the mismatch that is typical, not the female being not quite as intelligent as the male. During good times they get along fairly well, but when trouble comes, she grossly over-reacts, and then gets caught up in that emotional validation thing that women fall prey to, wanting to believe that an emotion justifies itself and demands repentance, atonement, and a permanent change in behavior on the part of the man when it was her choice and behavior that was the problem.She becomes very morally ambiguous and even hypocritical in trying to defend the bad choices she makes because she over-reacts instead of either thinking things through or relying on his analytical skills to cut through the emotional madness and restore order. She went too far, then painted herself into a corner, and exposed a weak and deceitful character that he has chosen to stop supporting and enabling.She continues to make very bad decisions and is digging herself a deeper and deeper hole, and he's having a hard time not stepping in front of the train to try to save her. She's about 40 years old with the emotional maturity of a 15-year old spoiled brat, and her biggest problem is that she needs to grow up and take responsibility for her life and achieve a thing or two to have some sense of self-esteem, so bailing her out of problems would work against her in the long run.Now that you have the situation, let's dig into our correspondence a little for a lesson for you to ponder, one which applies to not only to ex's and soon-to-be ex's, but often to a partner in a good relationship, children, other family, and friends:Him: "I wouldn't dream of sacrificing my future in a doomed attempt to relieve HER heartbreak, but through all of this, I have never wanted one bad thing to happen to her. She may well deserve it, but I'm not that guy - revenge only interests me for fleeting moments. Part of being rational, I suppose."Me: "If she's earned a bad time, stepping in front of it to save her from it is just as bad an idea as giving her an unjust punishment in the name of revenge."Him: "Thanks for mentioning that - I needed to hear it. There may be a newsletter in there somewhere, because I see men doing that almost as often as parents do it for their kids. It's going to continue to be difficult, particularly since she's [the mother of my son] and I'm reasonably generous, to let her wallow in her own mess. But I'll manage."Do you see the point? It's part of a man's make-up to be a protector, and sometimes we work too hard at that part of the job of being a man, so much so that we undermine the development of those around us, or weaken their self-confidence by inadvertently making them think that we're trying to "save them" because they're not up to doing it themselves.There are times when we want to help, and try to help, that our help really isn't wanted or needed, and is in fact offensive, as our wives and girlfriends, our children, our other family, extended family, friends, coworkers, etc., try to meet challenges and grow. Think about that...If I could teach you only one thing in the rest of my life about relationships, it would be this: Self-esteem and independence come from only ONE source, and that is ACHIEVEMENT. Meeting challenges and coming out on top builds the confidence to stand alone and have a life, allowing a person to enjoy your company and share a life. Anything you do that impedes others' ability to rise to meet the challenges of their life puts them one step farther from independence and one step closer to being a dependent, not to mention resenting your involvement in deterring their independence and self-esteem. Have you been accused of "smothering" people? If so, that's what they're talking about.So what do you do?No, you don't just say "screw the world" and become a hermit so you don't impede anyone's ability to grow. Don't' be silly. What you must do is be patient enough to let others ask you for help before you go jumping in. If you can tell that somebody is in a bind, but don't think they will ask because they are too proud, you can subtly offer: "Man, that looks tough (or "fun" if you think you can get away with it). Can I do something here?"Asking in that way doesn't force them to say they "need" your help; it allows them to say that you can be included, which isn't demeaning at all, or could be of help, which is far less demeaning if they are trying to remain independent. It also allows them to say something like, "I think I can cover it, but if you've been through this and have any tips or tricks to make it easier, I'm interested," or something like that. Whatever they say, they mean it, so if they refuse, just acknowledge their choice by saying something like "very well," and DON'T add something that expresses a lack of confidence like, "You know you can call me if you change your mind." If they change their mind, you'll be the first person they call because you offered to help.The hardest part about being a protector isn't the protection, it's knowing WHEN to protect and when to let somebody take their lumps and learn their lessons so they can grow. As far as your relationship with your girlfriend or wife goes, unless you are indeed with a dependent, they will appreciate you not smothering them and allowing them to give things a try before jumping in. It's a vote of confidence in both their ability to perform and their ability to assess a situation and be adult enough and responsible enough to ask for help if they need it.You have likely been told all your life that charity is a good thing, along with self-sacrifice. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you sacrifice justice, the principle of giving someone or receiving exactly what is deserved, no more and no less, to charity, the principle of giving the unearned to those who did not earn it, everybody loses. You lose the life that went into creating whatever you gave away, and they lose the opportunity to feel better about themselves by having attained something of value by their own mind and effort. It is a strong sense of justice, not charity or punishment, that makes for the most effective and respected leader.By and large, women are neither weak nor stupid, and they resent the hell out of us when we treat them as if they are. They may not do things the same way we would, and at times may not even come close to doing them the best way if it's something mechanical, but they usually can get it done, and being social in nature, they have no problem with asking for help because it turns it into a social event. However, when we let them see just how far they can get on their own and they make something work, they feel better about themselves, and they have not only a boost in their security and self-esteem as a result, they also have BRAGGING RIGHTS, which is not something we men have a monopoly on by any means. And bragging is by nature a social activity, right?And what are bragging rights to a woman? RELIEF FROM BOREDOM THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO PROVIDE! So wise up and take advantage of one of those rare and wonderful things that makes something good happen without you having to work your ass off to make it happen. Speaking of rare and wonderful things for you to take advantage of, about a third of the members at our forum, http://forum.makingherhappy.com, are women who are there both to learn about us and to help us learn about them.They'll answer any question; all you have to do is man up enough to ask, and you'll find out that in some ways, women aren't that different from us; in others, they seem like they're from another planet at times. (An old friend of mine used to say that there's something on that extra leg of that second "X" chromosome that really messes women up!) Understanding our similarities and our differences are equally important in the quest for a happy and lasting relationship and/or marriage.There are some things that are very masculine, some that are very feminine, and some that are simply and supremely human, and knowing these differences can make the difference in you being with a great woman for a lifetime and you being alone and strapped with alimony and child support payments while everybody in your former family except you enjoys the house that you worked (and are still working) to provide, so I strongly suggest you get wise, and fast!The fastest path to such wisdom is "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," waiting for you in an instant download at http://www.makingherhappy.com. Get it while you can, because you never know what tomorrow may bring...but you can always hedge your bet with good information, if you can find it, and this is it!In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!David Cunningham "Being a man is something to which one should aspire, not something for which he should apologize." --David Cunningham
As a man, if you have any talent so I'm sure you absolutely love to show at all. Also, if you have a lot of money, a beautiful car and a great job, then I'm sure you love to talk about it. There is certainly no shame that, but when it comes to impress women who have just met, is not a good idea.
Sure, a lot of money and a great talent can be interesting for many girls, but if this is the reason why someone wants to be with you, then you better find a ' somebody '. If they are after your money, then you probably created a false impression without using your real personality, slow down cowboy there, because you may have made the worst mistake of your life.
If you're tactics for picking up women include showing your goods, then I am definitely going to rethink your plan if you ever report a true. Not only will the girls are wrong, but it's a little will reject those worth. I mean think about it: you really think that you might face only a beautiful woman which boasted beautiful things and still be successful?
In most cases simply refuse it because he knows that you're full of yourself, how many other guys out there. Try a different approach; impress a pretty girl with your personality that looks good and expensive possessions. Many girls are looking for men, which unlike the other and do not use their money to get laid.
Use this to your advantage and show them that you are truly unique in its own way. A lot of people out there are rich, but there is a small amount of people that are actually rich in personality. Think of it as you did before they were rich and act as one with the Add dding maturity and will impress any woman on the block.
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Reference: pua-celebrities.blogspot.com
Hello, I'm a fellow sociopath. I've read your entire blog, all the way from the beginning, I thank you. My father called me a psychopath when I was very young, between the ages of 5 to 8. I didn't get certain things, certain emotional things, certain norms.
How I got this way, I do not know. I had a traumatic event at the age of 14, I got jumped because I was messing around with somebody's girl. Her boyfriend found out, beaten me up with the help of his friends in front of the entire school. I didn't even go home that day, I slept in an abandon house, in the cold and the rain, plotting to kill this person. I had drawn up a plot to break his knees in and cripple him with a baseball bat.
Sadly I got arrested before that could happen.
I believe this started my extreme sociopathy besides the lack of empathy. I became a misogynist, a manipulator, extremely cold by that point. My mother had me put into therapy until we moved.
I was juvenile delinquent at 14, breaking and entering, shoplifiting, skipping school, a smart ass, constantly in the principals office. After my beating, I calmed down, cause I realized I was never gonna get out of high school at that rate. I had to be low profile, and just get out of high school. I was a gifted student so not like the work was hard.
By 16, I've began manipulating girls, collecting what I call trophies. Maybe nude pictures or videos of them. Females became my victim. I rarely had sex with them. Cause I'm asexual and find females weak and gross. Sometimes I do it, just to act out my urges of dominance and power, make them easier to control. But certain qualities I can find and like, for the most part, I'm not attracted. I do have them, every sociopath/narcissist, has his partner, his play thing. House/Wilson Sean/Christian....
Origin: dating-for-black-men.blogspot.com
If you dream of a wife, who would become a real precious embellishment of your home, its heart and soul, its lovely mistress, then you've come to the right place. Our MARRIAGE AGENCY suggests you to get acquainted with gorgeous WOMEN from CHISINAU, Moldova. This wonderful warm country lying in the South-East of Europe breeds attractive cheerful beauties not like any other WOMEN in the world. Their beauty and grace is worth being described in the most romantic poems, their attractive bodies have already made crazy millions of men, and their cheerful character makes them the best life companions ever. The cuisine of Moldova is rich and exotically delicious and these WOMEN are all wonderful cooks, learning this art from their mothers and grandmothers. They know how to keep their home clean, cozy, warm and comfortable. These WOMEN are famous for their hospitality, always impressing the guests with a hearty welcome, shining house, warm smile and delicious meals. They also know how to take care of their family, whether that be their children or beloved husband. What more can we say, those WOMEN are even better than any man dares to dream, and we are glad that you've come to our DATING website to get to know them. They are here waiting for you and dreaming of you just like you are dreaming of them. So take a chance to make the dreams of two people come true resulting in a happy long life together. We believe you'll find your real love here and wish you good luck.
Source: pualib.blogspot.com
ARTICLE: [Exclusive] KARA Jiyoung's leave was because she's dating Supernova's Geonil? according to Japanese media
SOURCE: TV Daily via Nate
1. [+846, -27] KARA really are a Japanese group There aren't even articles talking about that in Korea
2. [+684, -35] Don't care
3. [+595, -38] Look at her throwing KARA away now that she has no use for them after using them to get into college
4. [+34, -2] Hearing Supernova's name for the first time in a while, I guess they haven't disbanded yet
5. [+24, -7] Were there ever any articles about them datign? Looks like nobody really cares about KARA
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ARTICLE: DSP reps "Jiyoung and Geonil are close friends, not lovers"
Source: Star Today via Nate
1. [+231, -31] No one cares, why does she think we do?
2. [+174, -13] Go take your clarification to Japan... The Korean media never even talked about it~
3. [+64, -10] No one asked, no one cares
4. [+10, -7] Don't care
5. [+7, -4] Netizen reps "No one cares what Jiyoung and Geonil's relationship is"
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It's official....we are a busy nation. We have laptops, PDA's, iphones, multiple emails, multiple cell phones and the list just goes on and on. Some assistants have assistants! We do not have time to sit around and wait to find speed dating sites. We can not afford to waste time on something as silly as an entire evening spent on a date with someone you most likely will not want to go out with again. Hey, he seemed really nice when you met him at...(insert location here)...however now? Not really what you are looking for. Now you are looking at your watch jealous of your DVR because it's home watching CSI right now
Here's where speed dating comes in handy. You can have 12-15 four minute dates in one night. Seriously! Not to mention you can also make it a night out with your friend all at the same time! I swear! Get your single girls together and check out the dating websites. Yes, best speed dating company out there is even called HurryDate. Oh sure, there are others but none compare to HurryDate. They have this process down to a science. Ok, so maybe not a science but it does run very smoothly. You can go to the website and check for parties in West Palm Beach. A list of events will come up. Each event is broken down by age range. However, it's not like anyone is checking birth certificates so if you see a party you would like to attend but you are a few years older or younger than the stated ages, it's ok. Go ahead and register. You fill out a brief profile online and you are ready.
At the party you will arrive 30 min prior to dating time for the check-in and happy hour. This gives you a chance to mingle a bit with the other daters. Not to mention take advantage of the great drink specials that your host has arranged for the party. Upon check-in you will be given a name tag, a pen and a scorecard. Your host will give you an ID number to put both on your scorecard and your name tag. This is what fellow HurryDaters will be looking for. Ladies, your job is to sit down at one table the entire time. Lucky you! As for the men, they will move from table to table every 4 minutes. Yep! So, say you are not crazy about someone you are talking to, it's ok because in 4 minutes there will be someone new. After you have spoken to each person you meet, you look on your scorecard and find their ID number. Next to it you will circle either Y or N to let yourself know if you would ever in your lifetime like to speak to them again. It's not a marriage commitment, it's just if you find them interesting enough to have another conversation.
Once the party is complete and you get home, you will log back onto hurrydate.com using the user name and password you created when you first registered. There will be easy to follow directions on how to answer your yes's and no's. Put all your friend of that in and let HurryDate take care of you from there. In about 48 hours you will receive an email telling you not only who you mutually matched with but also who may have said yes to you but you said no to. This is to give you a chance to take a second look. Trust me, you will be meeting a lot of people in a very short period of time, it can be a bit overwhelming and you will forget who some people are. This gives you a chance to take another look and maybe convert your no to a yes.
Just in case all of this wasn't enough, dating websites provides online dating. Also, if you are a member of the online dating portion, you can receive a discount on your registration costs to the actual parties. Online you have the option of inviting a hottie you spot to meet you at a party. Go ahead, take a chance. You only live once. Who do you want to spend it with? Give it a try now. Go to RSVP to a West Palm Beach area party today. I'll even give you a discount if you give it a try. I'm serious. Just enter code LMWPB429 in the promo code box when registering and receive a discount on the 35 registration costs. Once you have attended a party you will receive regular updates with discount codes for future parties. See, how can you loose? I'll be going to the upcoming parties at Bru's Room in Boynton Beach. Will I see you there?
Source: Examiner.com
Join us this week as Linda O. Johnston talks about how to sustain suspense.
Linda O. Johnston is the author of 33 published novels, including the Alpha Force paranormal romance mini-series for Harlequin Nocturne, and romantic suspense for Harlequin Romantic Suspense. Her Harlequin Romantic Suspense novel Undercover Soldier was a July 2012 release. Her most recent Harlequin Nocturne, Undercover Wolf, is a February 2013 release. She also writes the Pet Rescue Mysteries for Berkley Prime Crime.
Laura Drake is a city girl, who never grew out of her tomboy ways, or a serious cowboy crush. She writes both Women's Fiction and Romance. The Sweet Spot, the first novel in her, 'Sweet on a Cowboy' series, will be released by Grand Central in May of 2013. Her 'biker-chick' novel, Her Road Home, will be released by Harlequin's SuperRomance in August, 2013.
Charlotte Carter has authored more than 50 books for various Harlequin lines including Love and Laughter, Duets, Harlequin American and currently writes for Love Inspired. She has also written cozy mysteries for Guideposts books and a single title for Dorchester. In her spare time, she does a little standup comedy.
The author of 50 books, Holly Jacobs's 'fictional' life is full of romance and adventure. From skydiving to jet-setting around Europe, from snorkeling in coral reefs to writing while wearing beautiful silk peignoir sets and popping chocolate bonbons, Holly Jacobs leads a life that is the epitome of romance. Holly's fictional life sounds more interesting, but not better than her real life. Really, she's the happily married mother of four and currently writes for Harlequin SuperRomance and Montlake Romance.
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